Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue: Valentine Is Both Ugly and Beautiful

If you are familiar with the classic song Roses Are Red by The Mac Band featuring the McCampbell Brothers, released in 1988, you will understand why it became one of the most emotionally enduring love songs of its time. Its message was simple, yet profound. It spoke of emotional vulnerability, reassurance, loyalty, and sincerity. It reminded us that love is not merely physical attraction, but emotional safety, trust, and commitment.

It spoke to a universal human need. The need to be seen, valued, and emotionally secure.

Valentine’s Day, in its purest origin, was never about indulgence. It was about courage, responsibility, and the protection of love’s dignity. Saint Valentine stood for commitment at a time when commitment was discouraged. He protected the emotional and moral integrity of relationships, even at great personal cost.

Today, Valentine’s Day carries both beauty and risk.

For many, it remains deeply beautiful. Some will always remember Valentine’s Day as the moment they met their life partner. Some received words that restored their confidence. Some experienced gestures that strengthened their sense of worth and belonging. For others, simple acts of kindness, roses given sincerely, or gifts offered with genuine intention became defining memories that shaped their emotional lives positively. For such individuals, the day remains a symbol of gratitude, emotional safety, and meaningful connection.

The emotional depth of love continues to resonate across generations. This is reflected in contemporary music such as Baby by award winning R&B artist Joe, released in 2019 as part of his album My Name Is Joe Thomas. The song captures emotional openness, reassurance, and mature affection in a way that resonates with both older and younger listeners. It reminds us that beyond material expression, love remains rooted in emotional presence, protection, and sincerity.

Yet Valentine’s Day has also become a day of silent pressure, particularly for young people.

Pressure to impress.
Pressure to belong.
Pressure to prove love materially, emotionally, or physically.

Social media amplifies unrealistic expectations. Emotional manipulation becomes normalised through statements like, “If you love me, prove it,” or “Why don’t you trust me?”

For boys especially, this pressure can be dangerous.

Many boys, still forming their identity and emotional stability, feel compelled to prove their worth through money, gifts, or risky behaviour. Some may lie, steal, expose themselves to unsafe environments, or engage in substance exposure simply to avoid rejection or embarrassment.

This is not strength. This is vulnerability.

For girls, the consequences can be equally serious. Emotional pressure can lead to compromised boundaries, unsafe environments, and exposure to exploitation or harm.

Every year, young people place themselves in situations that expose them to emotional trauma, violence, or long term psychological harm. What begins as celebration can end as regret.

Yet love, when properly understood, reveals character.

It reveals whether love protects or pressures.
Whether love strengthens dignity or weakens it.
Whether love is responsible or reckless.

Real love does not manipulate.
Real love does not pressure.
Real love does not endanger.
Real love protects.

Recently, during an intervention led by Elizabethan H&H Foundation in partnership with the Lagos State Ministry of Basic and Secondary Education, Education District 1, about 250 boys from six different public schools were brought together under the programme titled Education Beyond the Classroom: What’s Your Missing Curriculum, held at Lagos State Senior Model College, Alimosho.

One intentional decision during the programme was to ensure that boys did not sit with students from their own schools. They were encouraged to meet new peers, introduce themselves, and build new connections. As music played and the boys moved around, shaking hands and greeting one another, emotional barriers began to break naturally. Many of the boys, who had never met before, found themselves smiling, engaging openly, and forming new friendships.

At the end of the programme, several boys came forward individually to express gratitude. Some simply said, “Thank you, mummy.” What was visible in that moment was not performance, but relief. Relief from emotional isolation. Relief from silent pressure. Relief from the expectation to appear strong while feeling vulnerable.

This is why structured emotional formation matters.

Through the Rescue The Boys (RTB) Architecture, Elizabethan H&H Foundation is building structured pathways across schools, communities, and institutional environments to support emotional grounding, strengthen identity formation, and guide boys into responsible manhood. These interventions exist to ensure that moments of vulnerability do not become moments of permanent harm.

Valentine’s Day itself is neither entirely ugly nor entirely beautiful.

It becomes what we make of it.

It can be a day of compassion, responsibility, and emotional maturity.
Or it can become a day of pressure, vulnerability, and regret.

The difference lies in understanding.

Love protects.
Love does not require pressure.
Love does not require risk.
Love does not endanger dignity.

Protect your body.
Protect your dignity.
Protect your future.

At Elizabethan H&H Foundation, we remain committed to guiding boys and young men through structured emotional development, helping them build the strength, judgment, and responsibility required to protect themselves and others.

Love protects. And what love protects, it preserves.